Did I say that I hated 3eid ?

Well in case I forgot :
I HATE 3EID !!!!!

I HATE 3EID !!!!!

I HATE 3EID !!!!!

Capsule

Can anybody really encapsulate what he has on his mind at a certain moment and present it to other people in a perfect manner ? Will he need to reconstruct the whole background on which that state of mind was built ? He'll have to not care what people might think about the parts that he doesn't want anybody to know, but for the sake of conveying his "frame" of mind , he'll have to strip of all guards and surrender to the fact that reaching out to the audience is his up most priority.

This level of truth and transparency is godlike in it's power and freedom, this isn't a simple job that any mortal can do. It's porn star freedom , the girl standing or performing naked in front of five camera , the guy with nuts jammed into his ass by a monkey ,while he puts on his room warmer face, and smiles to the camera, which takes a picture that millions of people will see and laugh at. They always said that if you can laugh at yourself then you've reached a powerful level of security and self esteem .But what if you didn't even find it amusing , you are so in sync with yourself that your every once embarrassing situation is not only normal enough that you can laugh at with your audience , it is so insignificant that you don't find the input that people acquired that information to be an actual event, and you deal with it ,or don't deal with it ,like a non-event.

Suicidal drama

I love that we can be put in the same category as Craig Clevenger. How ? Since we're doing a short movie about suicidal thoughts, the studios found the idea to be too aggressive destructive and belligerent and our sponsorship was too hard to come by.

The point that independent publishers in Craig's case and the small time studios in our case are making is that making such a movie is fine in the sense that working on it is artistically viable, but watching it is a sign of illness. And that isn't good for business.

"Yeah, I get it… shelf space is finite and profit margins are slim. It’s a tough business, business being the operative word." Craig notices.

Life Imitating Art

Well since this is our first short movie, it can shock to the point of knowledge and acquaintance. Or can it ?

Social Misfit ?

I recently discovered that I was called a "Social Misfit" on one of my friend's blogs ... and now I really feel the urge to retaliate by explaining where I didn't fit and leave the decision of whether the misfitting is necessarily a bad thing in this case. I first need to introduce my abdomen pain gauge : empty [----------] , full [***********]

Breakfast at Bakehouse :
Nine people having breakfast at the bakehouse .... a geeky looking dude is sitting in front of his girlfriend which happened to sit beside me, if you put the two over each other their combined height will be 1.65m. (I don't have a racial problem with little people). OK, the little dude explains how he changed his profession because of a Simpsons episode, and he now studies or finished studying communications , so from now on in this post we will call him the "communicator" or "COM" for short, this has nothing to do with Nokia or cum. [----------]

COM starts talking about his favorite breakfast (remember this dude has an accent as aristocrat as Marie Antoinette) , he says : "i go eat two Falafel sandwiches, then I top them with some omelettes and a KitKat" end f story , APPARENTLY HE DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU HAVE TO SHARE SOMETHING INTERESTING I DON'T NEED TO HEAR WHAT IS UR FAVORITE KIND OF DICK !!! [**--------].

COM starts talking again !!! and I'm like : please don't for fuck sake !!! He explains how he and his precious wife, I mean girlfriend, communicate when they go to festivals (as if there were that many) because they're short (they opened the height subject 15 times, SO SECURE). They wave their hands in the air and call each others name (and of coarse they had the need to demonstrate by waving on the table)"COOOOOMMM" .... "COOOOOMMMMMAAAAAAA" [***-------]

COM starts talking again an idea of a show he has , which deeply enough is about food ! This time I chose to block the thing about his gay cooking show , until of coarse he mentioned that he will play violin after he finished cooking ... and I go "No body will ever want to see your 8th grade TALENT SHOW". And how about some interesting subject for a change [*****-----]

THE DIET PEPSI INCIDENT :
I make the mistake of ordering a diet Pepsi . And as dull as these people can be they found this to be strange and asked why did I order a diet Pepsi: "To soak my dick in it before I pee in your glass and tell u this is ice tea gone warm !!!!" . I mean why else would I order one , it's not like I want to DRINK A DIET PEPSI !!!!!!!! And after I finished they had the nerve of asking me "how was it?" ...They noticed that I finished just after I finished it , which means they were watching me drink the diet Pepsi all the time !!!!! CREEPY !!!!! [*******---]

THE TUMMY INCIDENT :
COMMA stands up to apparently check her self up , although u wouldn't notice that she ever stood up..... As clumsy as she is her top was showing a little of her tummy which I chose to ignore because I was hungry and I needed to finish my "Breakfast Supreme" without actually vomiting... But NOOOOOOOOO ..... they can't let this pass ........ COM tells COMMA :"cover yourself woman" remember this guy is Marie Antoinette.... She being the man in the relationship tells him , that he can fuck himself , and she shows more of her tummy , at which point COM caves in his chair and respects her personality... [**********]****

At this point I really had an acute abdominal pain ... I thought I will not be able to hold anything down .... My reptilian brain told me to kick COM's ass and vomit on COMMA's head which by the way was going to happen by accident. But my mammalian brain intercepted the signal and we chose to walk out without getting our hands dirty.

And so I couldn't fit in the "society" so I'm a "Social Misfit" ... LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL

"GOOD" People

I changed Jobs , I'm working for a new company , which at the first glance looks great , people are working on a Video game for XBOX 360 , I'm working my ass off even if I still don't know if I believe in the thing or not (all the usual stuff). But then you notice that something is missing ! one and half months in the company and I've never witnessed a single fight! never heard one gossip and never seen a flirt fly across a room !

I wondered for a while why was that . And after some inspection of the intra-work relations I found out the reason ; These people are "good" , "Good" as in fairy tale "Good" .Snow white and the seven little people "good". They love each other, and actually have the good of the company at heart. AND I'M LIKE ...... HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!! They ask each other whether they want something from downstairs before going down .... and they call each other if somebody is late for more than an hour . THIS IS SICK !!!!!!

I didn't know that such people existed !!! And what is the probability of them being at the same fucking place !!!

Even their jokes are innocent !! inno no dark sarcasm nor sexual reference .... and mine just fly just over their heads ........WHOOOOOOOOSH ....The "Brady Bunch" comes to mind.

I want evil people , I want gossip , I WANT dark Humor !!!!!!!!! THIS IS PATHETIC !!!!!!!

I think I have to take it upon myself to change these people, that can be easy since they idolize me ; which is redundant since I'm the only one that have SEEN the WORLD !!!!!!

Nostalgia

Could anything be more nostalgic than "ACE OF BASE" !
http://youtube.com/watch?v=-JLcrtdtBek

Trix and Sa7lab

After always doing the whole social endeavors with the intricate and convoluted social class, one really needs a break. I know I need one right after every day at work , after every time I go out with my co-workers,my "friends" or my friends' friends. It's not that I have anything against these people, but I hate that they are trying to appeal to each other's tastes, with their cloths and the fake "prime store" culture talk. What I'm trying to say is that these people are never their true selves around each other , and they call each other "friends", they are the best they can be and that by far isn't what a person is. I want to see their worst or even average selves for a change , their close to reality image , no competition or parade.

Here's where "Trix & Sa7lab" comes into play. "Makha 3amman" is a coffee house that almost every jobless or unhappily married guy in Amman goes to regularly, groups of 4's come to play cards there. I can't go on sounding like a tourist. Anyways when we need to turn it off me and my friends go there and we have the funnest time of our lives. I mean we just get high on each others' jokes which normally wouldn't be that funny. But the atmosphere is somewhat catalyzing the miserable sarcasm.

There isn't any tension there, people come wearing there comfortable cloths, their biggest concern becomes whether the seven of hearts was with them at the start of the game. Nobody knows more than 3 names from the 150 faces in that place or maybe four if you count the popular waiter's name.

Any how , we go there, order sa7lab , and we feel real for about one and a half hour every two weeks. Then we go back to our "normal" lives.

It Hit Me.....

Finished rendering the last scene in "F.E" ... Then it hit me ... This is too satisfying to stop and too hard to continue ... I just signed in for a life of either a feeling of emptiness after not being able to achieve better things than I've already achieved , or of hardihood since continuing doing this kind of work is consuming and arduous.

Fueling "F.E" was the need to prove to myself that we can do this , I had to see something get out from the output end for a change , and it did, we did what we thought was much harder in the sense that we never did it and much easier in the sense of the small but lasting problems that faced the project.

Do I need to prove something to myself or to others so I can actually go all the way through ... or does it become easier ......
What I plan to do is make it as natural as it can be that this becomes a part of my life ...... I need this to be as normal as waking up ...... I can't go back to usual tasks and taking orders ........... This may sound big-headed but it's not ..... I need this to continue or I will loose interest in my life , because other than that or BECAUSE of that everything else became boring ....